Hello, my name is Maxwell.

I'm the first-born son of mama and papa. My job is to eat, sleep, and learn. So far I can crawl, pull up on the furniture, and cruise around the room. I have two teeth with a mouthful on the way.

A typical day for me includes zwieback toast, Cheerios, some fruit, oatmeal, maybe an egg yolk, and lots and lots of breast milk.

Lately, I've been biting mama. She doesn't like that very much. She loves me though, so she suffers through it while I get used to having teeth. Below is a picture of mama. See why I love her so much?

I go to day care in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. It's a noisy place full of babies.

I run the joint.

Mama teaches school. She has a web page, too. She likes ivillage. It's a place for mommies to get together and talk about how wonderful it is to be a mommy.

I get picked up a lot. When people pick me up, I like to pull off their glasses. I also like to pull on their necklaces and earrings. If I can get to it, I also like to grab big handfuls of chest hair.

Papa especially likes that.

Mama and papa practice what's called "attachment parenting." Among other things, this means I don't sleep in a crib. I sleep in a "family bed" with mama and papa. This way everyone gets a good night's sleep. Unless I decide it's time to get up and play.

I do this ever so often to keep them on their toes.

It usually goes like this: it's 4 a.m. and I get to feeling a little squirmy. I pull up on mama and pinch her nose shut. Or I pull up on papa and grab some chest hair. This usually gets them up pretty quick.

Then they spend a few fruitless minutes trying to convince me play time is really sleep time. Ha ha ha ha.

That almost never works. Then mama and papa negotiate over who's turn it is to get up and play with me.

They make a lot of grumbling noises, but one of them gets up eventually.

Papa usually takes me to day care. He also works for a school, but he's not a teacher. No one's really sure what Papa does. But since he works for the state, I get all the zwieback I can eat. I like to stick out my tongue. I also like to grab other people's tongues when they stick them out at me.

When mama and papa go out, they leave me with a baby sitter. I have several. They're good people, if a bit misguided. They simply are no substitute for Mama and Papa. I don't like the idea of being sat on either.

They try hard to entertain me though. Their efforts aren't always in vain. This is Sam. He's a big guy.

He has a web page. He calls himself Mr. Angry, but I've never seen him angry. But truth be told, I haven't seen much of anything yet. I'm not even a toddler.

I have four first cousins, Lacy, Lynna, Cade, and Mikaela. I also have four uncles, Dan, Scott, Jesse, and John; and six aunts, Stephanie, Tiffany, Larissa, Megan, Rachel, and Cindy. I see them as often as I can, but I don't drive yet.

I was born April 16, 1998. It was the day after taxes are due and Papa likes to joke about how he won't ever be able to buy me a birthday present because of Uncle Sam.

I urge everyone to call this Uncle Sam person and ask him not to take away my birthday presents.

April 16 was also the day the tornados struck Nashville. There were several in Murfreesboro, too. At one point, Mama had to be moved from her hospital room to a shelter to wait out the tornado warning. I didn't want to come out.

But I did and I have to say It's been great so far. You can see some older pictures of me at the web site Papa set up. People kept complaining that there were no new pictures of me up there, so I took matters into my own hands.

I have my own remote control for the TV. I don't think it works, though, because no matter what button I push, I can't get rid of those damn Teletubbies. I broke Papa's favorite remote by slobbering on it. It seems electronic equipment is no match for the toxic saliva I produce. That will teach him to leave it where I can reach it.

I overheard Mama and Papa talking about "baby proofing" the house. I don't like the sound of that and of course I wasn't consulted on the matter. I find, I'm rarely consulted on the issues that matter. You'll notice in this picture that I inherited my mother's feet. The second toe on my left foot doesn't touch the floor. I leave a four-toe footprint. That will make me easy to track.

Mama will probably not like that I told you that.

All this web page stuff is making me sleepy. It's not as easy as Papa makes it look. He does this sort of thing all the time. I'm still developing the fine motor skills necessary to use a mouse.

It's hard on a baby to be so technologically sophisticated. I'll get by though. I've got a loving family. That makes me a lucky baby.

Page 2: I get older and wiser.