Man About Murfreesboro - blog - funny - politics

We had Max's 9th birthday party at Steve's Funtastic Funzone. Several of Max's buddies showed up to bounce around on the inflatables. Rozzy screamed like a banshee the whole time. Max raked in the loot and I spent most of the time hanging out with my buddy from the comic book shop who brought his sons to play.

Yesterday was Max's actual birthday and as is tradition in our house, the birthday boy or girl gets to pick the restaurant where we all go eat.

ME:
So where are we going, buddy?

MAX:
Burger King

ME:
Burger King? Really?

MAX:
Yup.

ME:
You do realize that Murfreesboro has 9,000 restaurants.

MAX:
I want to go to Burger King.

ME:
Burger King? Really?

DOLLIE:
I know. He won't be dissuaded.

MAX:
I had a burger from there and it was great. I want another one.

ME:
There are plenty of places that do a great burger.

MAX:
I want to go to Burger King.

ME:
Fine.

We get there and Max orders chicken.

Last Saturday, Badger acted as host for a party in honor of our old college buddy, TimG. It's been a long time since I'd seen him and there were plenty of old friends there. It was a staid affair an absolutely no one drank too much and made an ass of themselves.

Didn't happen.

I've decided that I can't really comment about the Virginia Tech shooting. It's a horrible tragedy and we're only just beginning to get the full picture of what happened. I'm not in a position to know any more than what I read and none of it can be trusted as yet.

I think Bush's speech was eloquent and I hope the speed with which he flew to the campus shows that he's learned his lessons from Katrina.

When oh when are these conservative activist judges going to stop legislating from the bench? The Supreme Court today voted 5-4 (and you know who, right?) to uphold the 2003 Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act. You may recall that previous courts struck this down as unconstitutional because there is no exception to protect the health of the mother.

So there you have it. Mom, according to the federal government, you are officially less important than your fetus. You have to carry that fetus to term even if it kills you.

The only woman left on the court wrote a scathing dissent:

	“the Court’s opinion tolerates, indeed applauds, federal intervention to ban nationwide a procedure found necessary and proper in certain cases by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. For the first time since Roe, the Court blesses a prohibition with no exception protecting a woman’s health.”

And why did the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists oppose the law?

	The intact variant of D&E offers significant safety advantages over the non-intact method, including a reduced risk of catastrophic hemorrhage and life-threatening infection. These safety advantages are widely recognized by experts in the field of women’s health, authoritative medical texts, peer-reviewed studies, and the nation’s leading medical schools.

Intact dialation and extraction (the so-called "partial-birth abortion") is safer for the mother and is only used for troubled pregnancies in which the mother's life is in danger. In 2000 the Supreme Court struck down a similar law because there was no exception for the health of the mother. It's been struck down by six federal courts.

The Supreme Court overturned it's own precedent. Read the words of Publius:

	This case was not decided today. It was decided on November 2, 2004. Don't blame the Court, blame the American people. They voted in a Republican President and the entirely-predictable consequence was increasing restrictions on abortions. In fact, Bush is one Justice Stevens illness away from overturning Roe entirely. And for what it's worth, if any of the current Republican candidates win, Roe is over for at least a generation. Maybe you think that's good, maybe you don't. That's not the point. The point is that voting for Republicans has consequences and this is one of them. And these things are worth thinking about when you base your vote on things like John Kerry's windsurfing, or Bush's probably-fun-to-drink-with-ness.

On the talk radio stations lately it's been all Imus all the time. Not the U.S. Attorney purge, not Iraq, not Iran, not even Pelosi's trip to the Middle East. The irony for me is that "Imus in the Morning" isn't syndicated in the Nashville market. In Tennessee, we're pretty oblivious to his existence. Sure, MSNBC has been simulcasting it since 1996, but how many of us can pick that up in our car on the way to work?

The point is that I have no context into which to put Imus' stupid comments about the Rutgers Women's basketball team. I cannot, however, think of a single instance in which calling anyone a "nappy headed hoe" would be considered a good idea, so let's all agree that what he said was stupid and wrong.

He apologized and I believe his apology was sincere and well spoken. He's meeting with the Rutgers team to apologize in person and he should take his lumps and be done with it.

I read where Jesse Jackson has decided to protest Imus. He doesn't accept Imus' apology. That's funny because I didn't realize Jackson played for Rutgers. Also, it seems a bit hypocritical when you recall that Jackson felt an apology should suffice when he referred to New York as "Hymietown" in 1984.

Late yesterday, MSNBC announced that they were cancelling their simulcast. CBS Radio, the syndicate that carries Imus, said his job is at stake. They did this in response to some major advertising dropping out, not because of any public outcry.

I can't speak to the critics who say this has been a long time coming because Imus regularly trades in this kind of hate. But I can say I've heard other radio hosts and pundits say worse. Michael Savage says worse nearly every day. Glenn Beck has said worse.

Dick Morris is on Fox just about every week. Earlier this week he said "...You have to ask yourself, the first black man is running for president and nobody's afraid of him, because everybody's afraid of Hillary." Excuse me? We should be afraid of the black man running for president? Why? Will his rob our homes? Make us wear our hats sideways? Date our daughters? Why does Dick Morris still have a job?

Ann Coulter says worse things in her sleep, than Imus. I don't want to sound too much like a Republican here, but the marketplace can decide Imus' fate better than anything else. let the listeners decide whether to turn away, then cancel his show if they do. As much as I detest Dick Morris, Michael Savage and Ann Coulter, I wouldn't want to be the one to limit their freedom of speech. I just don't listen to them.

I also don't buy this stupid argument that is should be okay for Imus to say "nappy headed hoe" because rap artists use that kind of language all the time. That bit of illogic falls under the "two wrongs do not a right make" postulate. I also don't listen to any rap music created after the fall of Run DMC.

Lastly, Imus is old. He's in his 70s. He can't keep this up much longer. Eventually, he's going to be turned out to pasture with the rest of the bitter old racists from that generation.

Remember when the Bushies first came to D.C. and announced that the "adults were in charge?" There would be no more of these scandals and investigations and flimsy excuses. Bush would run a tight ship full of ethical professionals who wouldn't even think of doing anything wrong.

Cut to a couple of weeks ago, Rep. Henry Waxman discovered that the RNC issued laptops to several White House officials with seperate RNC-run email accounts ostensibly to avoid the same problem that they hounded Al Gore with at the end of his tenure -- using his official government computers for political purposes (the Hatch Act). The Senate Judiciary Committee has voted to authorize subpoenas for the RNC emails.

Rove and the rest were supposed to use the RNC email accounts for political stuff and the White House accounts for government work. Waxman recently ordered the RNC not to destroy any of the emails from these accounts because he believed that they would cast some light on the U.S. Attorney purge, since it came to light that Rove and co have been using the RNC emails to shield their activites from government records.

That action is a violation of the Presidential Records Act -- which says you keep everything forever. Waxman and Leahy must have been onto something because the AP is reporting:

Wow. What a coincidence. The very emails that could shed some light on this and somehow, they were deleted. I sure am glad the adults are in charge and that this administration has been so upstanding and truthful for the last six years, otherwise I might think something underhanded was going on.

Okay, so Rove deleted emails he shouldn't have in violation of the Presidential Records Act. The White House has admitted it happened. Let's prosecute him. That's a felony, right? He has to lose his security clearance. He has to give up his federal paycheck, right?

In a conference call with reporters, White House Spokesman Scott Stanzell said the problem was that the White House policy wasn't clear enough for employees and that said employees didn't seek guidance. But, as Froomkin points out in the Post, the policy is pretty clear:

Anyone taking any bets as to whether anyone at the White House will be held accountable? Leahy is trying:

March 24: Department of justice emails regarding attorney purge have an 18-day gap.

Feb. 28: The Pentagon reports that they lost the video recording of the interrogation of Jose Padilla.

May 24, 2004: Pentagon loses 2,000 pages from classified report to Congress on abuses at Abu Ghraib.

Sept. 5, 2004: records from Bush's Air National Guard service are reported missing.

Celebrated Easter with the fam. Uncle Curtis grabbed my head and told everyone he had found the "prize egg." Dad was there. He's getting around pretty well for someone who was at death's door just a few weeks ago. There was a big egg hhunt and all the kiddies were suitably excited.

My grandfather had a cut over his eye and his only explanation for it was that he was in a fight.

It was good to see everyone. Scott had news: he's taken a desk job at the plant, fewer hours and less pay, but weekends off and no more night shift. Good for him.

On the homefront, Rozzy is all hyped about kindergarden. She's prepping by teaching herself to read. Her teacher isn't going to know what hit her.

This morning she came to me upset because the only lunchbox she had was one of Max's old ones that had a dinosaur on it "and that's not just for girls." I assured her we'd get her a lunch box before August.

This weekend we'll be celebrating Max's 9th birthday. We've chosen a venue suitable for a rowdy bunch of pre-teens: Steve's Funtastic Funzone. It is essentially a big room full of inflatables: bouncy castles, bouncy slides, bouncy rock walls . . . you get the picture. Steve keeps them there when he's not renting them out for parties. It's actually a pretty good business model.

He picked out a giant cake from Publix and had to agree to give up a present to get it because it was rather expensive. The cake topper has a motion sensor that, when triggered, causes a dinosaur to attack. It is the stuff of 9-year-old boy dreams.

What's odd is that Max hasn't been able to articulate very well what he wants for his birthday. Two of his grandmothers have asked point-blank and he hasn't given either an answer beyond "NO CLOTHES!"

For our part, we've already given him one of his presents: a copy of the complete Bone epic. Plus, we've bought him a bicycle, which he picked out and which is sitting in the basement awaiting someone to pump up the tires so he can learn to ride it.

Here is a new blog doohicky that is at once interesting and a little insulting. I think it paid more attention to my glasses than any of my actual features.

For those not paying attention, it was right before Easter when President Bush made his big speech saying if the Democrats didn't give him legislation funding the troops without "artificial timetables" then they would be responsible for extending the tours of duty for the troops in the field. Today, the Pentagon announced that the tours of duty for troops in the field will be extended to 15 months.

These decisions are not made over a weekend. Bush had to know this was coming down the pike. How stupid does he think the American people are? First off, the Democrats passed legislation that gives him all the money he asked for. It also says that if we don't start bringing this war to an end, the money is going to dry up.

Bush invited Sen. Reid and Rep. Pelosi to the White House to talk about the war, but made it clear that if they were thinking this was an open conversation that may lead to some sort of compromise, they shouldn't come because it's his way or the highway.

What a tool. Bush seems to forget that, as president, he is head of one third of the federal government. One third of three co-equal branches. The congressional leadership has every right to exercise their power to end this war because that's what the American people want.

It seems the only people who are still behind this war are the rightwing pundits on TV, Bush, McCain and a few diehards on the extreme right who believe that the problem is we haven't killed enough Ay-Rabs.

Had a celebrity sighting today. Since my office is in a business center, we share receptionists and copy machines and break rooms with a lot of other businesses. I was headed downstairs with the office mail when Eddie George came walking up. We said hello and I asked him how things were going with his landscape architectural firm. Then he pointed to the Bluetooth thing in his ear and moved on up the steps to take his call.

Oh the hysteria. Oh the shame of it. Oh the horrible, horrible idea that Nancy Pelosi (a San Fransisco liberal!) went to Damascus and met with Syrian President Bashar Assad. How dare she! It's almost as if she were a member of congress and congress was a seperate co-equal branch of government from the president!

Cheney said she was "rewarding bad behavior." This is the same ridiculous phrase the neocons toss around when anyone asks why we don't just sit down and talk with North Korea or Iran. We don't want to "reward bad behavior." As if simply talking with the U.S. is some sort of reward.

Bush said she was sending "mixed signals" to Assad. But the fact is that she announced several times that her delegation was in complete agreement with the White House regarding Syria's support of terrorism. The only difference is that she was willing to talk with Assad and try to convince him to end it.

The punditry on the right were beside themselves. She was accused of everything from planting a big wet kiss on Assad to submitting to the will of radical extremists for wearing a headscarf.

The fact is the White House, the neocons and the conservative punditry had no problem when, the Saturday before Pelosi's visit, a delegation of Republicans, including Rep. Frank Wolf (R-Virginia) visited Assad. Wolf even came out after his visit and criticized Bush for his hardline stance against direct talks with Syria. Just yesterday, California Republican Darrell Issa visited with Assad and he, too, criticized Bush afterwards. Where are the neocons now? Why are they giving Wolf and Issa a pass?

Members of the legislative branch visit foreign leaders all the time. It's called diplomacy and for many, many years, it has served us well and helped resolve conflicts without the use of force. We used to use it all the time, but since Bush took office, talking with your adversaries has been seen as weak. It makes you look like an appeaser instead of a cowboy and heaven knows Bush is a cowboy. He's got the hat and boots and everything.

But the neocons don't want to solve the conflicts in the Middle East. They want war. They want to invade and bomb and dominate -- the exact same attitude they accused the communists of having during the Cold War and the Islamic extremists of having now. This is why, when President Jimmy Carter wanted to visit with Assad last year to encourage him to support the Middle East peace process, the White House ordered him not to go, despite the fact that Carter has known Assad since the Syrian president was a college student.

It hardly seems important in this context, but I'll point it out anyway. Laura Bush wore a head scarf while visiting the Middle East, as did Condoleeza Rice. No one said a word. No one should have. We are supposed to respect other cultures. If I were to enter a Synagogue, for example, I would put on a yarmulke even though I'm not Jewish. That doesn't make me an appeaser to Zionist extremists. It makes me respectful of the culture of my hosts.

House Minority Leader John Boehner said it was okay for Republicans to go to Syria, but not for Pelosi because, as speaker, she adds to much legitimacy to the Assad government. While I agree that a visit from a bunch of Republicans doesn't do much to establish one's legitimacy, I take issue with Boehner on his hypocrisy.

As Think Progress pointed out recently, when Denny Hastert was speaker, he traveled to Columbia and met with the government. He told the Columbian military leaders that they should bypass the Clinton White House and deal directly with Congress. That, my friends, is what interferring with foreign policy looks like.

For another example, Glenn Greenwald at Salon points to a 1997 trip by then-Speaker Newt Gingrich to China in which he took it upon himself to tell the Chinese that, should Taiwan be attacked, the U.S. will defend Taiwan -- a position the Clinton administration had not officially stated. Greenwald also noted that the media treated Gingrich with much more respect than Pelosi.

Bush bypassed Congress and installed Sam Fox as ambassador to Belgium as a recess appointment. This is going to be a problem for Bush because there is some question as to the legality of it. The law that allows Bush to use recess appointments was set up to give the president flexibility in case Congress is out for a long time and he needs an emergency appointment to a crtical post. Such recess appointments serve voluntarily and without pay.

The law wasn't designed so Bush could appoint someone during a holiday weekend. Or to appoint someone unable to get confirmation by the Senate. Plus, since ambassadorships have a fixed pay rate, it isn't legal for volunteers to work for free. The Senate was getting ready to reject Fox for the post in part because Fox would not disavow his support for the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth -- the propaganda group that produced attack ads questioning Kerry's service and patriotism. Fox withdrew his name rather than face the vote.

Rush Limbaugh said the Senate committee used "Stalinist tactics." Cheney agreed, saying Rush was "dead on." Stalin killed millions of people. Members of the Senate Judiciary Committee questioned a man who funded propaganda and decided he didn't deserve a diplomatic post as a reward.

I'm sorry to say that Dick Cheney is a liar. That is all there is to it. There is no longer any reason to sugarcoat it. He cannot be trusted to tell the truth. On Limbaugh's show yesterday he, again, claimed that Iraq and al Queda had conspired before our invasion.

Before we get to the refutation of this, let me point out a couple of things: Zarqawi didn't affiliate himself with al Queda until after the invasion of Iraq. When Zarqawi left Afghanistan, he did not go to Baghdad, but to the northern province of Iraq (Kurdish territory over which Hussein had no control due to our No-Fly Zone).

There was no significant relationship between Iraq and al Queda before the invasion

We're experiencing a bit of a cold snap here. Two nights ago, I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it. It was two grubby looking men in their 20s. Both were in t-shirts. Both were shivering cold. One was carrying an empty gas can the other was wearing house shoes. They gave me a sob story about needing a few bucks to get home to Smyrna.

I'm a born sucker. I must be on a list somewhere. Give me a good hard luck story and I'll come up off some cash. In this case, $3. Dollie thinks I need to work on that and she's probably right. I gave these two credit because at least they had a prop to back up their story.

The big news around our house is that Dollie was accepted into the graduate History program at MTSU. She turned in her notice at the high school that she's taking a leave to work on her master's degree. I'm very proud of her. She's wanted this for a long time.

The letter that informed her of the decision was a bit scary though. It was three sentences in before they said she was accepted to the program. It started off with language like "while we faced a difficult decision..." and "Once again it was hard to pick . . ." The point of the letter was to inform her that, while she was accepted, she didn't get an assistanceship. But they could have written it a little better.

I stepped on the scales for the first time in more than a week this morning. I've been avoiding it because I'm trying not to get too hung up on my weight. But I was feeling some good mass mojo so I took a peek.

Speaking of slang. Rozzy told me that something was "freakin' sweet" the other day. It's hard to discourage your child from using such language when you're laughing.

I started playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic again. I've played through the sequel about four times, but recently had the itch to play the original. I found a used copy for $9 at EB Games.

"That's why I never lend my games out," he said. "People call me selfish, but I don't care."

When I first played this game, I was obsessed with it. I bored my friends to tears over it. It was the coolest, most immersive RPG I'd ever seen. After running through it twice, I lent it out and forgot about it. I may have gotten it back at one point and sold it or it may have just gone into the ether. The point is, I've got another copy and started playing it again. Enough time has passed that I don't remember the solutions to any of the puzzles, which is nice.

Wait, no the point of this was that while I was at the store, I saw a solicitation to reserve a copy of Mass Effect. This is the new massive space-based RPG from Bioware (creators of SW:KOTOR) and their first game for the Xbox 360. It looks waaaaaaay cool and I've been visiting the site regularly looking for a street date.

The counter monkey said June 6 and would I like to put $5 down on it now? The web site says TBD.

We'll see. Mass Effect was the reason I chose an Xbox 360 over the Wii or Playstation 3.

Busy, busy, busy. Work has been crazy. I was in Gallatin last night until after 9 p.m. for a couple of focus groups. I got there early to set up the video camera, the monitor, the tables, chairs and food -- cold cuts, chips and cookies. Nothing fancy. At the end of the evening, there was enough leftovers to feed another 10-12 people.

"Okay," I replied and hauled the stuff down to my car. So, a little after 10 last night, I show up at home with a big deli tray, chips, cookies and sodas. I packed it all away and went to bed.

Max's school is stil on Spring Break this week, but since Dollie's school isn't, he's spending the week in the Extended School Program. It's not a bad deal. For $75 they provide him with supervision, activities and a sack lunch. This morning, he told his mother than he wanted to bring his own lunch.

"The sack lunch at ESP never changes," he said. "It's always a sandwich and chips."

His jaw dropped in frustration and surprise. Then he made himself a sandwhich, packed up some chips and I took him to school.

Dollie and I saw "300" last weekend. I really enjoyed it. I'm a fan of Frank Miller and comic books, so this was a natural, I guess. They took some liberties with the historical record, of course, but the film was action packed.

I particularly enjoyed the use of slow motion for part of the fight sequences. Too often in modern films, action sequences are shot with so many quick cuts and odd angles that it's difficult to tell what's going on. That was not the case here. Every decapitation, every severed limb every gut piercing spear head was clear as crystal.

The FBI's inspector general reported to the congress that agents were abusing the expanded police powers under to Patriot Act. He noted 40 instances of agents obtaining personal records of innocent people by using National Security Letters and not following the proper procedures.

Robert Mueller, FBI director, is now trying to convince a hostile congress that he can fix the problem and that it would be a good idea to further expand these powers, rather than limit them.

Alberto Gonzales used provisions in the Patriot Act to fire 8 US attorneys and replace them with political appointees. Internal emails show that not only did he sign off on the plan (and then lied to congress about it) but that officials at the Justice Department brainstormed after the fact on reasons to have fired them.

Accusations have come out that Republican lawmakers have tried to pressure some of these 8 USAs to stop investigating Republicans and to indict Democrats. These 8 work in key states needed to shore up support for the 2008 presidential elections. Monica Gooding, the Justice Department's liasion to the White House just informed the committee that she will be taking the 5th and not answer any questions. Gonzales walked out of a press conference today when the reporters started asking about the scandal.

The House and Senate have each passed a bill that ties benchmarks for progress in Iraq with further funding for the war and sets a timetable for withdrawal.

Here's a quiz. How much of this would have happened if the Democrats didn't control the congress? How much has been going on for the last six years that we'll never find out about because Republicans didn't exercise their oversight commitments?

Williamson A.M., the regional edition of The Tennessean ran a story on one of my clients who is building a warehouse and showroom using insulated concrete forms (ICFs). By and large real estate development stories are only interesting to real estate developers, but the use of ICFs is actually quite interesting.

As an aside, many of my family wonder (sometimes aloud) just what exactly it is that I do for a living. For those that read this blog, here is an example. I interviewed the client, wrote a press release, pitched it to the reporter and followed up with her to make sure she had access to the client and the job site.

I took a ride downtown to the main office to pick up a couple of copies of the story for my clients and saw one of the mailboxes the Post Office wrapped to look like R2D2. I'd heard about this on the radio (I think). It's part of the celebration of the Star Wars stamps coming out in May (I think).

The promotion is pretty clever. You can go to the web site and answer a quiz which is a combination of very easy Star Wars questions and questions about products offered by the USPS.

Then you can vote on which stamp is your favorite. I picked the Stormtroopers, though Darth Vader is the current poll leader.

Things have been a little Star Wars heavy at my house lately because I rented Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy for the Xbox 360 and Max has been playing it non-stop. I like the game and may have to buy it, just so I can go through it and unlock all the goofy stuff you can't get to the first time through.

For a long time I railed against the modern Lego sets designed to make a single thing (an X-Wing Fighter, for example). It seemed wrong somehow or stifling to the creative mind of a child to have more than the clunky bricks I was used to. But I've mellowed in my dottage and have let that one go. The videogame actually made me feel a little better about that. Think about it -- they've created a videogame based on a film series using a child's building block set. It's a brilliant example of cross-marketing genius.

The chickens are coming home to roost for Sam Fox. He's one of the major funders of the so-called "Swiftboat Veterans for Truth" that aired several dodgy attack ads against John Kerry in the 2004 election. Bush nominated him for ambassador to Belgium.

When he went up to the Capitol for the Senate confirmation hearing, guess who was sitting across from him. Sen. John Kerry, who was torpedoed by the group he funded and three senators running for president in 2008: Joe Biden, Chris Dodd and Barak Obama. There was virtually no chance his name was going forward.

A group of vets who served with Kerry on his swift boat in Vietnam, sent a letter to the committee urging they reject the nomination. It reads in part “In our judgment, those who finance smears and lies of combat veterans don't deserve to represent America on the world stage."

You get the picture. He really liked riding in Dollie's truck. She wisely lent it to me, figuring he'd have a hard time getting in and out of my Jetta. I had to get him from home to Vanderbilt by 8:20 a.m., then take him to Murfreesboro to have his blood checked by 11:15 and then home again. That meant I had to leave my house by 6 a.m.

Since Dollie had a show that morning and had to be at work early herself, I let Max play hooky and come with me. Naturally, he was thrilled.

"I know I'm not supposed to say anything bad about my school," he said. "But thank you for taking me with you."

We arrived at Grandaddy's house at 6:45 and all the lights were out. Uh-oh. I've never experienced that before. I'm used to him being up at the crack of dawn, in his study reading scripture. My cousin answered the doorbell, informed me that she just woke him up and went back to bed.

We took off down the road and wound up at Vandy at 8:15. The advantage of arriving five minutes before your appointment is that you only have to wait about 20 minutes until they call you. Max and I follow him into the examining room to get weighed, poked and prodded. Then we're moved to another room while they hook him up to machines that check out his pacemaker.

That took awhile. I read a lot of old magazines. Max taught me "the finger game." I won't go into all the rules, but it passed the time and he's pretty good at it.

After the intial readings, we were brought in to meet with the doctor. He wanted Grandaddy to have a chest x-ray to make sure one of the leads hadn't shifted. That meant a trip upstairs and another waiting room. It was after 10 and we had a 45 minute trip to Murfreesboro to make his next appointment.

Max and I ushered him upstairs and found the radiology lab. They took his picture and we headed back to the garage.

We made it to Murfreesboro with a few seconds to spare. Now Murfreesboro is my home. I've lived here longer than anywhere else. It's a confusing place to drive, even for me, but I knew where I going and I went down several back streets and shortcuts to get to the clinic. I thought this was the kind of thing that would impress the old man.

After the appointment, he asked me to stop for lunch. Aunt Dot said to take him to Captain D's, so I wove my way over there.

"That Jennifer knows every pig path in Murfreesboro," he said. "She drives all over the place."

A couple of pieces of fish later and I drop Max off at school. ["Awwwww, maaaan"] It's 12:30 when we get there. The office lady says "You know he's going to be counted as absent anyway right?"

Grandaddy bought Dollie a tank of gas and we drove back to Unionville. It was a good day.

It's the time of year when the air conditioning comes on in my building. I don't mind it except that I'm in an office with no windows and two vents. I feel the effects long before anyone else does. Also, my bald head picks up the slightest breeze and transmits it down my spine.

I never used to get cold, really. When I was 25 pounds heavier I enjoyed the winter. The AC was my friend. Now I'm wearing a stocking cap in my office and blowing on my hands to keep my fingers from freezing up.

It may be all over for Alberto Gonzales. The Politico is reporting that the White House is approaching possible replacements for Attorney General. Here's the thing, though. He won't be forced out. Bush won't fire him because Gonzales has been his friend and lawyer for too long. He'll wait for Gonzales to quit.

That could draw out the process. Then we have senate confirmation hearings for whomever Bush chooses. Oh please let it be Chertoff, pleeeeeeeaaaassse let it be Chertoff. That would be a confirmation hearing worth popping a big ole bowl of popcorn for.

What's happening over at the Justice Department is a disgrace. The AG has to be someone who is independent of the president. Look at Janet Reno. She was hounded by the right wing her entire eight years in office. But she didn't protect President Clinton from squat. She's the one who appointed Ken Starr. She did a spectacular job at Justice, especially when you consider her followup acts: Ashcroft and Gonzales.

Speaking of Ken Starr. He's got a case before the Supreme Court right now that cracks me up.

The case is technically called Morse v. Frederick, but it will be known throughout the land as the "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case. What cracks me up is that I went to high school with this guy. Well, not this guy, but one just like him and I'm willing to bet you did too.

Here are the facts as I understand them. Coca-Cola sponsored a parade for an olympic torch bearer that passed in front of the high school where the kid attended. He and his buddies figured they'd get on TV, so they went across the street from the school (which was let out so students could watch the parade) and held up a 14-foot sign with a message scrawled on it that he'd once read on a snowboard.

What does it mean? Nothing. There is not political statement being made. There is no side being taken. There is no policy being advocated or protested. It was just a stupid sign designed to get attention. The message makes no sense. It was a complete nonsequitor.

The principal ripped the sign down and gave the kid five days suspension. The kid pointed out that, as an American, he has the right to free speech -- Thomas Jefferson, framers, all that nonsense. The principal, angry that this kid would invoke the founders, said "Okay, smart guy, you've got 10 days."

Which brings us to where we are today -- Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia are talking about bong hits in the Supreme Court.

Ken Starr, who is representing the principal, argues that the message advocates drug use and therefore the school should have unlimited discretion to block that message. I'm thinking he may lose this one, even with the conservative court, because the content of your speech is not the issue. It is the act of speech that must be considered.

We've been asked to revisit Tinker v. Des Moines School District, a Vietnam-era case in which school officials banned students from wearing armbands in protest of the war. The Court decided then that "it can hardly be argued that either students or teachers shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse gate." But this happened outside school property at a function that wasn't school-sponsored. The rights being claimed by the school is downright scary.

In short, if you say Joseph Frederick can't hold up a sign that says "Bong hits 4 Jesus," what's going to stop you from tearing down a sign that says "We love Jesus?"

A late-night document dump by the Justice Department shows that Bush may have personally signed off on the attorney purge. Revelations are still being . . . uh . . . revealed. But we did find out:

Patrick Fitzgerald got a middle rating on the loyalty scale as a prosecutor who has yet to distinguish himself. The scale has three positions: Loyal Bushies, Not Distinguished and Weak. Patrick Fitzgerald received the Attorney General's Award for Distinguished Service in 2002, but he's not a "loyal Bushie" because he's prosecuted Republicans. The impression I get is that the list is . . . well . . . politcal -- exactly what Gonzales said it wasn't.

Paul Charleton may have been fired for suggesting that federal agents should record interrogations of criminals. Charleton made some good arguments for taping interogations, but the DOJ resisted on the grounds that some of the techniques used, while perfectly legal, may not seem (to a jury) like proper means of obtaining information. One handwritten note in the margin of this memo reads "So we want to hide the truth? Don't want jury to reach it's own judgment?"