Conservative Corner (my brother, Dan)
Naked and Unashamed (my brother, Scott)
Crazy Aunt Purl
(my friend Laurie)
There's Pie In the Lunchroom
(my friend Chuck)
Too Fat For Ponies
(my friend Sam)
Nashville Junk
(a Tennessean insider)
Recent posts:
Dec. 30, 2005
So I'm at work yesterday and, I'll admit it, I was watching the clock, thinking "four more hours and I'm off for four days. Three more hours and I'm off for four days," etc...
Then the boss comes in and asks about a project I'm working on.
"I should get it finished and out the door on Tuesday," I said.
"Tuesday?" he replied. "We're working tomorrow."
"Whaaaaa??!"
Somehow I had gotten it in my head that the office would be closed today. Oh well, four more hours and I'm off for three days...
Let me just say that, though I tend to complain a lot here, I really like my life right now. I have a great family, a roof over my head, food on the table, a good job and a commute that's killing me slowly by inches. I sometimes get so worked up about the petty little things that I skip over what's really great about being me.
I'm going to try and do that less in 2006.
It's mid-season replacement time at the networks, otherwise known as my second-favorite time of the year. There aren't that many new shows coming out this time around though. NBC's got "Four Kings" which I'll watch because Seth Green makes me laugh. CBS has "Courting Alex," "The Unit," and "Love Monkey." Pass, pass and pass. ABC has "Crumbs," "The Evidence," "Emily's Reasons Why Not," (I'll probably catch the pilot because Heather Graham is such a babe) "In Justice" which is another court/crime procedural show, so I'll have to watch at least one, "What About Brian," (another in a long line of single-guy-in-a-group-of-married-friends-and-oh-why-can't-he-find-love shows, pass) and "The Miracle Workers" a medical procedural in which the cast list is "TBA." Fox has the return of "24" which rocks and "Skating With the Celebrities" which would almost pass my pretty-people-doing-stupid-things test for watching reality TV, but not quite because ice skating isn't all that stupid and celebrities aren't people. Heh.
That's it except for NBC's "The Book of Daniel" which is already being attacked by the Christian right.
I've been enjoying the new twists on "Fear Factor" which include adding some people who normally don't make it on to the show, such as the pair of middle-aged bikers last week. Plus, they're doing something called "Fear Factor Home Invasion" in which Joe Rogan brings the crew to your house and the family performs a stunt for $5,000. That's a lot of fun.
I've been growing out my beard for the last week or so. I'm giving it until Jan. 3, when I go back to work to fill in and look like something other than dirt on my face. I have a love/hate relationship with facial hair. On the one hand, it helps to hide my extra chin, on the other, it itches, can sometimes get prickly at the wrong moment and doesn't fill in evenly everywhere.
For example, a coworker suggested that I should grow in my sideburns to better match my glasses. I didn't have the heart to say "I am growing in my sideburns." They just don't grow in very well.
Dad told me once that he could never grow a beard and was a little jealous of my ability to do so, but I remember a time in my youth when dad had a respectable mustache. As I recall, I told him to shave it off and he did. I don't think I've seen him with facial hair since.
In college I grew a van dyke and my brothers (both bald-faced debutants at the time) kept calling me Jerry Lawler -- a Memphis-based wrestler who sported a goatee. I took their good-natured ribbing in stride. Then, as soon as they were able, both of them grew van dykes. Heh.
I had a full beard when I got married and when I was hired for this most recent job, so you could make the argument that good things happen to me when I grow out the whiskers.
An Airbus pilot took care of an abusive and drunk passenger by stranding him on a sparsely populated island. Heh.
So this guy gets his digital camera stolen. Natuarlly he wants to replace it, so he goes on eBay and finds the exact model. Hey . . . wait a minute.
Dollie and I have been playing Cathedral lately. It's a fun little diversion. It's a puzzle game in which you and an opponent place buildings inside a walled city. You try to place your buildings such that you wall off territory for yourself or block your opponent from doing the same.
Dollie, being a devotee of spatial relations games such as Tetris, is a shark.
Can you tell how hard I'm working to avoid writing about politics? Well, that's it for me until next year. Be safe and have a good weekend, everyone.
Dec. 28, 2005
I got my new glasses in yesterday. My coworkers immediately commented on how hip they were. Probably too hip for me. Whatever. I think they're cool, but difficult to get used to. I ordered these high index lenses which can hold my prescription without being coke-bottle thick. They are very light and comfortable, but they distort around the edges a little. So, if I cut my eyes to either side to see something in my peripheral vision, it looks all screwy.
More head turning for me, I guess. The guy who fitted them for me had on a pair of frames that were little more than horizontal slits. Just enough plastic across the eyes so he could see straight ahead. I suspect he was only wearing them for effect.
My friend Jana, who used to teach high school, would wear glasses with plane glass in them so she would look smarter. I used to really gig her about it because I thought "attitude" glasses were insulting to those of us who are shackled to these things. She said, however, that the students were better behaved on days in which she wore them. There's a graduate school thesis in there somewhere.
Since we're still in the middle of the holidays, I thought I'd throw in a photo of my kids. This one was taken during one of Rozzy's hugging moods. She gets these from time to time. Last night, for example. We were waiting on a table at a local eatery and Dolls sat Rozzy up on this handrail so she could see everything going on. Rozzy decided to give her mama a hug. A good hard hug around the neck.
Dollie made a comment about how strong Rozzy was and how that hurt a little bit. Suddenly it became a game: how hard can Rozzy hug mama. Max, as you can tell, is unamused by his sister's antics.
I know I said I was going to lay off the politcs for a while and I am, really. But I wanted to point to this article in the New York Times that demonstrates why Bush's domestic spying caper is going to be bad for the war on terror.
Lawyers for terrorism suspects are now going to slow things down while they try and find out of the government illegally tapped their client's phones. The White House isn't going to cooperate in these matters so we may lose cases against legitimate terrorists because Bush wanted to be able to skirt the law and spy on whomever he likes without judicial oversight.
Dollie met a local celebrity the other day at her student's Thesbian Party. It turns out that the mother of the student hosting the party is Chonda Pierce. She's a Christian standup commedian and children's book author.
Now I've heard her on the comedy channel on Sirius radio, but had no idea she lives in Murfreesboro. Apparently, she's doing well for herself in what has to be a very difficult field -- Christian comedy.
The last Christian commedian I believe I was exposed to was Mike Warnke, who claimed to be a former satanist turned Christian. His background and the truthfullness of his claims are in dispute.
But Chonda is different and I'm glad she's doing well. She has an upcoming show at a local megachurch which is sold out.
Dollie's mom took the kids to see "Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe." Both Max and Rozzy enjoyed it. There was some concern that Rozzy would be scared, but Fran said she sat there engrossed the entire time. On the way home, Rozzy explained why.
"That was not a scary movie."
I explained this to a coworker and she said "Was 'Narnia' supposed to be scary?"
"No," I replied. "But Rozzy is three and you never know what's going to scare her. She rides all the rollercoasters at Six Flags, but covers her ears when you flush the toilet. It's a toss up."
I bring it up because I just happened to see the SNL video about "Narnia." It was hilarious. Plus, Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines does equal crazy delicious. If you haven't caught it, check it out.
Okay, one more political nugget to chew on and I'm off it until next year. The Pensito Review makes the following salient point:
In 1995, Dan Burton (R) chair of the House Government Reform and Oversight Committee investigated whether tax payers were footing the bill for postage and stationery used by the fan club for Bill Clinton's cat, Socks. The committee found that Socks was not, in fact, cheating the American taxpayer. He also discovered that Poppy Bush's dog, Millie also had a fan club.
Today, Bush has admitted to domestic spying outside of judicial oversight and the best we can get is a promise of "oversight hearings" from the Republicans in the senate.
Booooooo. I read somewhere (I can't remember where now) that we liberals should lay off Bush because he's protecting America. It's not spying, it's freedom listening.
Heh.
Saw "Madagascar" over the Christmas holiday. It was a DVD gift to our kids. They both love the film and I have to admit it is very cute. I went to the iTunes store to buy a copy of one of the songs ("I Like To Move It") and found that you have to buy the whole album or nothing.
Gee, thanks, Dreamworks. It's weird. Some songs off the soundtrack are available as single tracks and some aren't. What up with dat?
It turns out, though that there are about a thousand remixed versions of the song I can download. Just not the one from the movie.
Inspired by Chuck over at Pie: here is what Googlism has to say about me:
mike reed is spunk
mike reed is this year's parade grand marshal
mike reed is a new daddy and an editor in the employ of middle tennessee state university in murfreesboro
mike reed is a devoted husband
mike reed is quick to stress that he and his company are not looking for hero badges
mike reed is primarily responsible for the team's wide receivers
mike reed is not in the all
mike reed is ready to catch up with fellow members of his recruiting class
mike reed is out after sustaining an injured left thumb against the black knights
mike reed is the media relations coordinator and can be reached at
mike reed is a great name
mike reed is the originator of the annual dick gaines classic
mike reed is the meeting chair
mike reed is the illustrator of space dogs on planet k
mike reed is the current chairman of the board
mike reed is everyman
mike reed is the illustrator of catching the wild waiyuuzee
mike reed is the cap's
mike reed is a veteran of many flame wars and has been often wounded in battle
mike reed is in his third year as an assistant coach at richmond
mike reed is compiling a bestiary of flame warriors
mike reed is the author of 1995's hoover dam
mike reed is a student of zen master ji bong and has been practicing zen for more than 7 years
mike reed is the dean of the university of nevada college of business administration
mike reed is a talented new assistant professor from iowa state university who
mike reed is once again the man with the tickets and at less than the cost of normal admission to the zoo
mike reed is one of my best buddies from london
mike reed is project manager for the ventura county unsecured tax system development project
mike reed is organising the stand which will concentrate on the issues currently occurring in
mike reed is planet earth’s founder
mike reed is excellent
mike reed is observing at ctio with the 1
mike reed is
mike reed is eligible after having to sit
mike reed is the president of the uf falling gators and also happens to be very proficient at packing
mike reed is no ray manzarek
mike reed is averaging 35
mike reed is like a creature suspended in amber
mike reed is a fellow nominee
mike reed is putting the final touches on the city web page
mike reed is the proud father of a baby girl
mike reed is quoted in the current peace news
mike reed is willing to supervise projects in any of the above areas
mike reed is our creative director and a founder of the company
mike reed is an original member of corrosion of conformity
mike reed is to face the fa to explain his bizarre `goal celebrations` during last saturday`s premiership clash between liverpool and
mike reed is just one of over 400
mike reed is married and has two children
mike reed is a partner in the law firm of porter
mike reed is outraged after advertisements appear in southern papers for libra?s super absorbent sanitary pads
mike reed is urging territorians to have their say on the draft legislation for a proposed prohibited weapons
mike reed is over there
mike reed is working on an amendment to that section
mike reed is going up against a tpg veteran in moe tenney
mike reed is cusick?s court
mike reed is quoted as saying
mike reed is expected to become head of behaviour in orgs
mike reed is working on the scenarios for play
Dec. 27, 2005
Just poking my head up between holidays to put down a few thoughts...
Last Friday the clan gathered at my grandparent's house for our traditional Christmas breakfast. It started about 6 p.m.
Most everyone was there and it was a great time. Aunt Dot made sure that cousin Karen and I didn't come to blows and all was right with the world.
KAREN:
I'm having such fun reading your blog. I hope you're having fun, too.
MIKE:
Sure. I'm having a great time. It's been nice having some other family members participate. [enter Aunt Dot]
DOT:
You two aren't arguing are you?
KAREN:
No.
MIKE:
Yes.
MIKE:
See?
Dad was there and was looking fat and happy for a change. I asked him how he was doing and he said "outstanding." Then he complained about how much weight he'd gained since he stopped drinking. It's a nice problem to have, I think.
Breakfast was eaten, and we all squeezed into the sitting parlor with the tree and the roughly 5,000 gifts which were piled beneath it. As is tradition, my grandfather asked one of the kids to read from the Bible, the story of Jesus's birth. My cousin Austin volunteered and did a great job. He asked if he should read the whole chapter, but my grandfather didn't hear him, so he took off. He kept going and going, past the birth and on to the life of Jesus. The kids, who knew that as soon as this part was over the present opening could begin, were quiet, but wiggly.
Finally, my grandfather told Austin to pick someone to lead the prayer. My brother Dan did the honors.
DOT:
You did a great job, Austin.
MIKE:
You sure did. That was great.
AUSTIN:
Did I read too much?
DOT:
That's a long chapter. It talks about the life of Jesus.
MIKE:
I thought we weren't going to be finished until Easter.
DAN:
Easter, heh. I get it. It took me a second, but I got it.
The highlight for Max was a gross green ball that, when squeezed, became a bulbous orange ball. Ewww. For Rozzy, the best thing was a Dora the Explorer magnetic doodle pad. She plopped right down in the middle of the floor and started drawing.
It was a good night.
When I sat down to begin my visit, my brother Dan and my dad pointed me to a story in the local paper. A guy I went to school with from about 4th grade through high school, was recently sentenced to 20 years in prison for the multiple rape of a 12-year-old girl. I knew the guy. We were on friendly terms. I hadn't spoken with him since the 10th reunion, where I introduced him to my wife and found out he was an exterminator. He's been in jail since May and will serve 7 consecutive 20-year sentences with no chance of early parole.
He was a bully in grade school, one of the cool jocks in junior high and in high school played drums in a band called "Suite 16." As he grew up, he became (at least in my estimation) a nice guy. So I was shocked to hear he'd pleaded guilty to such a horrible crime.
This will make three of my classmates who have been jailed for violent crimes.
The next night, we journeyed to the wilds of Franklin County.
We had a nice dinner at Dollie's grandmother's house. Her grandfather, who is suffering from dementia, likes to talk to me and for the last year or so, has been convinced that Dollie's maternal grandfather was, in fact, my grandfather. So, he liked to enquire about the health of Mr. Yates.
Mr. Yates died recently and I've been a little edgy about how to broach the subject because he cannot remember from one minute to the next that he's asked me. So I was worried that I was going to have to explain that Mr. Yates was dead multiple times. But he changed his question on me. He asked about my grandfather.
"How's your grandfather, I heard he was sick or something," he said.
"No, he's fine," I replied. "I just saw him yesterday."
Ten minutes later:
"What's your grandfather's name?"
"W. H. Reed," I replied. This confused him a little because the two of them only met once, at my wedding rehearsal dinner more than ten years ago.
Ten minutes later:
"What about your daddy, I he okay?"
"He's fine."
"What's your name?"
"Mike Reed"
"Were you here last years?"
"Yessir, I was here a couple of weeks ago for Thanksgiving."
"That's my husband," Dollie chimed in.
"Is that your boyfriend, Dollie?" he asked.
"He's my husband."
And that held him for a while. After dinner, we opened gifts, collected envelopes of cash (the traditional gift of grandmothers everywhere) and went home.
Max got a mini-robosapien, but was more fascinated by a new dictionary. I watched as he poured over the pages, occasionally pushing his slightly bent glasses frames up on his nose. There is a lot of me in that kid.
Rozzy's favorite gift was a Disney princess-themed chest of dress-up clothes, including jewelry and accessories.
We made it home that evening in time for Badger to drop by with gifts for the kids.
Christmas was spent at home with the fam enjoying each other's company. We received an unusual number of games this year and we tried out several.
The next day we ventured into the crowds to return some damaged or badly sized gifts and spend a little Christmas cash before heading back to work for three days. The next big thing: our annual New Year's Day brunch.
Post Secret kills me. Part of my weekly ritual is visiting the site and reading the new postcards that have come in. They don't archive the olds ones, so if you don't go weekly, you'll miss them.
Some are cute and fun. Others are sad and depressing. A few are disturbing.
For those new to Post Secret, essentially people put a secret on a postcard and send it to the site's host. He's published a book of the postcards and has a touring exhibit of some of them. I'm seriously considering buying the book.
I'm taking a little holiday break from politics and the news. Time to recharge the batteries and gird my loins for the mid-term elections.
