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Conservative Corner (my brother, Dan) Naked and Unashamed (my brother, Scott) Crazy Aunt Purl There's Pie In the Lunchroom Too Fat For Ponies Nashville Junk Recent posts: 2006 2005 |
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March 10, 2006 Max went to bed without dinner last night. His mother made him dinner, but he didn't want what she made, so he didn't eat it. He fully expected something else to be presented to him and in many cases, that's what would have happened. But he got four bad marks in his agenda and his mother had a late-night rehearsal. That meant it was up to me. Dollie told me right before she left that she made him dinner and he didn't want it, so he hasn't eaten. I let Max and Rozzy play on the computer until bedtime. Then I went downstairs to let them know it was time to log out and get ready for bed. "We haven't had dinner," Max said. "Your mother made you dinner and you didn't want it," I replied. Then it happened. Max threw the biggest hissy fit I've ever seen out of him. He was jumping up and down and screaming that he was hungry and wanted dinner. It was shocking. So I frogmarched his butt right to bed: no brushing of teeth, no reading of stories, to tucking in of blankets. As I was putting Rozzy through her bedtime paces, I kept hearing Max sobbing from the other room. "You be quiet and go to sleep or there won't be any breakfast either," I threatened. "I'm hungry!" "Well, you didn't seem to get hungry while you were on the computer, just when I told you it was bed time. You can have breakfast when you wake up. And I bet you eat every bite," I said. Sheesh. So the Dubai Ports deal has taken a new twist. Dubai is going to sell U.S. operations to an American "entity." This, the Republicans are claiming, will let the president off the hook. Not so. There are still too many unanswered questions. For example, what promises were made to DPW to get them to back off the deal? What American "entity" is going to run the ports and what is their connection to DPW? Now if the American "entity" is nothing but an American-owned subsidiary of Dubai Ports World, then we're certainly no better off. Finally, this still does not address the real issue of concern: port safety. It's like the beginning of a bad sci-fi movie. The Navy is putting neural implants in sharks to use them as spies. Where does Bush fall in the animal/machine hybrid debate? IMAGINE getting inside the mind of a shark: swimming silently through the ocean, sensing faint electrical fields, homing in on the trace of a scent, and navigating through the featureless depths for hour after hour. We may soon be able to do just that via electrical probes in the shark's brain. Engineers funded by the US military have created a neural implant designed to enable a shark's brain signals to be manipulated remotely, controlling the animal's movements, and perhaps even decoding what it is feeling. I assume that the next step is to put frickin' lasers on their heads. Heh. The way this works currently, is they put electrodes in the brain that stimulate the olfactory centers. So, the shark swims along and if the controlling scientist wants to make him swim in a certain direction, he triggers the shark's brain to think it smells food in that direction. Then comes the part in the movie where sunspots or something makes the signals go all hooey Live Science is reporting on the quest to find Noah's Ark. Satellite photos of Mt. Ararat in eastern Turkey show an anamolous formation buried in glacial ice. The AP puts Bush's approval numbers at an all-time low of 37 percent. The poll also shows that 4 out of 5 Americans believe Iraq will break out in civil war. Almost 70 percent of Americans believe the U.S. is on the wrong track. Plus there's this: Bush's job approval among Republicans plummeted from 82 percent in February to 74 percent, a dangerous sign in a midterm election year when parties rely on enthusiasm from their most loyal voters. The biggest losses were among white males. If Bush is losing the white males, then he's really in trouble. This is some of the most incredible sidewalk art I've ever seen. And while we're at it, take a look at these camoflage paint jobs. A cheerleader for Southern Illinois University, Kristi Yamaoka, fell from the top of a human pyramid, breaking her neck and had to be carried out on a stretcher. She kept on cheering. Salmon P. Chase was treasury secretary under President Lincoln. He was also the person for whom the Chase Manhattan bank was named. But did you know that his is the portrate on the $10,000 bill? I uploaded a photo of myself to a site that runs a face-recognition algorithm against a database of celebrties. The idea is to show which celebrities you most resemble. My results were somewhat mixed. The program said I share facial features with Jan Peter Balkenende, Pieter Zeeman, Stan Lee, Iain Banks, Russell Crowe, Michael Moore, Ezra Pound and Robbie Coltrane. It did say that I share more characteristics with Russell Crowe (56%) than Michael Moore (50%). So that's something at least. Puppy thieves! That's just wrong. I like a good college prank. Years ago I read a book (long out of print) called If At All Possible, Involve A Cow that was a history of college pranks. So, I'm happy to see the tradition is still going forward. At the recent USC-CAL game, some CAL students started an online chat with USC star player Gabe Pruitt. The CAL gang pretended to be a co-ed named Victoria from UCLA. Now, "Victoria" was all chatty, had some nice photos of herself and promised Pruitt a good time if he came back to UCLA after the game for a date. "She" then asked for his phone number. Fast-forward to the game. Pruit steps up to the freethrow line for his first attempt. The CAL student section starts chanting "VIC-TOR-IA" and yells out Pruitt's phone number. Pruitt is stunned. He turns to the crowd in disbelief before whiffing both his free throws. He went 3 for 13 in that game. Heh.
The most recent example is from Reuters. They published a photo of Cheney that . . . well . . it has to be on purpose. I can't see any other way of looking at it. Hopefully, he'll take the hint before we get around to impeaching Bush. I'd hate for us to go through all the trouble of hounding Bush out of office only to get Emperor Palpatine here in his place. Retire, Mr. Vice President. Your country begs you. O'Reilly says that the sane thing to do would be to "blow Iran off the face of the Earth." What an idiot. Have a good weekend.
March 9, 2006 I watched Monday's two-hour episode of "24" last night. The death count is creeping up and one of my favorite characters, Edgar Stiles, bought the farm -- a victim of a terrorist attack. Some sneaky terrorist stole Samwise Gamgee's key card, reprogrammed it to get into CTU and set off a canister of nerve gas in the ventilation system. One thing I've noticed is that no matter how secure a building is supposed to be in the 24-verse, there is always a ventilation system to mess things up. I also watched part of the two-hour premier of "America's Next Top Model." Already, I hate the majority of these women. The one I really can't take, though, didn't make the first cut, so we're cool. I forget her name, but she was very outspoken, very conservative and all about naming the people, races and groups she doesn't like. She's against affirmative action, liberals, homosexuals, Muslims and whatever else seems exotic to an 18-year-old Texan. At one point, a black woman mentioned how she was the only black person to work at Abercrombie & Fitch back home. This prompted our hateful Texan to say "Why would black people go to Abercrombie & Fitch?" She followed it up with a "You won't see me going to some FUBU retail store." When she was called on her crap, she said "I'm not a racist. You don't know how I feel, I do. I'm not a racist." Good riddance.
The FJ Cruiser is geared for rough terrain as well, but I'm unlikely to drive it anywhere more rough than the backroads leading to my grandparent's house. So I don't need the optional locking rear differential or the 4-wheel drive package. I just want a cool-looking truck to drive to work in. All that being said, until I win the PowerBall, I'm never buying a new car, so my FJ Cruiser is going to have to wait a few years. Hopefully, my 97 Rav4 will last that long. I'm not certain how whomever was driving that car got theirs, because you can't find an FJ Cruiser on any lot. The Toyota web site doesn't offer the opportunity to buy one, either. It's a 2007 model, so I guess we'll be seeing them on the lots around September. I caught Max in a lie recently. Actually, he caught himself. Every evening we have a ritual. I ask him how he did in school today and he gives me a fanciful story about how, although he got in trouble, it wasn't his fault. A couple of days ago, I picked the kids up and Dollie said Max had a story to tell me. Max starts his story as we're walking to the parking lot. "Max, I don't have time for your stories right now," I said. "But I'm telling you the truth this time," he said. "Whoah, wait a minute," I replied. "What do you mean 'this time'?" He slammed his hands over his mouth. Busted. "When were you not telling me the truth." He hemmed and hawwed for a bit, but I told him I wasn't going to let this go. He needed to fess up and tell me the truth. It turns out one of his previous excuses about why getting in trouble was not his fault was a lie. He was guilty of the accused transgression and told us otherwise in hopes of not getting into trouble. "Well now look what kind of trouble you're in," I said. "Was it worth it?" "No, sir." "Max, you're going to get caught when you lie to us," I said. "You'll let your guard down and slip up and say something that will give you away. Your best bet is to be honest with us all the time. Sure, you may get into trouble, but at least then we'll know we can trust what you say." He apologized and then wanted to tell me the story of what happened that day. "I don't want to hear it," I replied. "But I'm telling the truth," he said. "I can't know that, though, can I?" "I give you my word," he said. "But you've lied to me before, so I can't take your word for it, can I?" And so on... He's been doing so well in school lately that Dollie and I were beginning to think he had turned a corner. But just yesterday he got four bad notes in his agenda. Unreal. The Nashville Scene has an interesting story about a local gentlemen's club. The city passed an ordinance saying that employees of adult businesses must be fingerprinted and have a background check. The owner of the club, Christie's Cabaret (which is right down the street from my office) complained that when she took several of her employees to the police station to be finger printed, the cops made lewd and inappropriate remarks. This made the dancers uncomfortable, wasted a lot of time, and didn't cast the police in a very good light. It got to be so bad that eventually some female officers had to come in an take over the job. Which leads to the question: why was this ordinance enacted? It seems like the only purpose it serves is to embarras those who work for adult businesses. Should the metro government be in the business of harrassing taxpayers? City Councilman Adam Dread doesn't think so: “We’re not doing background checks on jugglersor clowns, which are probably more dangerous to the publicso I don’t know why we need to do them on dancers.” Let's hear it for South Carolina. The state board of education voted down curriculum changes which would have required students to study intelligent design as part of biology class. Meanwhile in Dover, Pa. a group is planning on going door-to-door and tell people about inteligent design. My buddy Sammy called last night with a weird story. He's currentlly in nursing school and was filling out a family history. When it got to the part about religion, he wrote about how his wife didn't come from a religious family and that his own background was Mormon. He wrote that he grew up in a strict (borderline-abusive) Mormon home and, once he was able to escape, had not sought out another church. No sooner had he finished the paper then he received a phone call from Salt Lake City. It was the Mormon Membership Committee asking him to update his information for their database. "Mike, I haven't been in a Mormon church since I was 14," he said. "I've changed addresses and phone numbers a dozen times. How did they find me?" Sammy is convinced that he needs to contact the local bishop and have himself excommunicated. He's also certain that, telling the guy on the phone that he wanted no part of the Mormon church, meant that there will be a missionary on his doorstep this weekend. A guy walks into a bank with a ski mask on and says "give me all your money." Then he says "just kidding" and proceeds to cash a check from his own account. The police have the last laugh. Things I learned by reading about the free porn weekend sponsored by Clermont Fellowship Church in Clermont, Fla.: • Number of pornographic web sites: 280 Million On a somewhat tangentially related note: iBill, a company that offers billing services for porn sites, accidentally released the personal information of more than 17 million customers online. This information has been bought/sold/traded on the black market, leaving those who actually pay for online porn vulnerable to identity theft. Authorities captured the three church-burners in Alabama. They are white, SUV-driving theatre majors who say it was all a big joke. People of faith (and the pollice) take this stuff very seriously. Wow, the Empire's takeover of Bespin must have really affected him: Man faces jail time for selling crack A City of Poughkeepsie man faces a stint in jail for dealing crack in the city last year. Landocalrissan Butler, 25, of Winnikee Avenue, entered a guilty plea Tuesday in Dutchess County Court to attempted criminal possession of a controlled substance, a felony. Butler told Judge Thomas J. Dolan he had five small bags of crack in his pocket Dec. 22 when police arrested him on Morgan Avenue. He said he intended to sell the drugs. In exchange for his plea, Butler was promised a sentence of six months in jail and five years on probation. He will also be required to forfeit a cell phone and $432 police said he obtained through illegal drug sales. Butler remains jailed pending his sentencing, scheduled for April 4. Microsoft unveiled the Origami -- a tiny little computer that's supposed to revolutionize portable computing. Yawn.
March 8, 2006 Yesterday morning, while I was in the shower, Rozzy decided she needed to "go potty." Fine. Go ahead. No problem. Well, one problem. Whenever she comes into the bathroom, she tends to leave the door open. This immediately lets out all the heat I've built up with my morning shower and sends a cool burst of air into the shower with me. "Close the door!" I yell. "Get me a wipey!" she yells back. "Get your own wipey and close the door!" I yell again. "Get me a wipey!" she yells again. So I get out of the shower, close the door and fetch the wipes for her (they were on the back of the toilet behind her head). "Ewwwww, papa," she said. "Don't show me your butt, that's gross." This coming from the little girl who likes nothing better than stripping off her clothes and wiggling her butt in front of Max. I told her to finish up and get out. The two of them think showing off their butts is the most hillarious thing ever. Tom DeLay won his primary in Texas. He spent just under $1,000 per vote he received. Now the Dems have a real shot at taking his seat in November. Nationally, the Dems can run against DeLay's party of corruption. It's going to be sweet. My favorite Tilly sister (the one who isn't crazy) blew off the Oscars for the first time in a decade to play Texas Hold 'Em. You have to have your priorities straight, I guess. Well surprise surprise surprise. The Republicans in the Senate have folded faster than Superman on laundry day. They've decided not to investigate Bush's domesticy spying program. The House Republicans voted to restore the Patriot Act. All these grumbling Republicans who were so critical of the president have suddenly been neutered. Now the House is going to hold a vote over the Dubai Ports deal. Bush has already said his mind is made up. The Washington Post says: DP World officials suggested yesterday that within days, Peninsular & Oriental's operations will belong to them, no matter what Congress does. So there you go. Is this all for show? Will the GOP falter again? Will it matter one way or the other? A new species of crustacean has been discovered. It looks like a furry lobster. Very creepy. In Florida, Katherine Harris, yes, that Katherine Harris, has gone into hiding. She cancelled a bunch of campaign appearances after it was brought out that she violated ethics rules by having an expensive dinner with a lobbyist and then attempting to earmark some tax dollars for his client. If she drops out of the Senate race, that will pretty much hand the seat over to the Democrats. If she doesn't drop out, that will pretty much hand the seat over to the Democrats. Bring on the midterm elections... The Boston Herald has an interesting blurb about a stupid criminal. He just plead guilty to gun charges because the police saw that he had an exact replica of the gun (including the serial number) tattooed on his hip. Heh. Now he's got five years to think about how stupid that decision was. Vanity Fair has a story on Jack Abramoff. In it, he spills his guts about who his friends are in Washington. Among the revelations: RNC Chair Ken Mehlman, who said he didn't really know Abramoff - but he did have Sabbath dinner at Abramoff's house, did him a bunch of political favors and offerd to pay his tab as his own dang restaurant. Sen. Conrad Burns (R-MT), who says Abramoff never influenced him - "Every appropriation we wanted [from Burns' committee] we got. Our staffs were as close as they could be. They practically used Signatures as their cafeteria." Former GOP House Speaker Newt Gingrich, whose spokesman says Newt wouldn't have known Abramoff "if he fell across him" - "I have more pictures of [Newt] than I have of my wife." You can read a PDF of the article. Sen. Burns has responded to the article by calling Abramoff a pathological liar who belongs in jail. Here's something to consider as the abortion debate begins to heat up again. Suppose for a second that the Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade and your state enacts a law banning abortion. What should be the consequences for a woman who seeks out an abortion anyway. I've never heard a conservative voice his opinion on that. They're all very ready to talk about going after the doctors, but what sanctions are they willing to put on the woman who gets an illegal abortion? Will we be sending women to jail over this? Frist blocked a vote today designed to halt the Dubai Ports deal. Remember when he came out and criticized the White House over this deal. They must have pulled his choke chain because he's back in lockstep.
March 7, 2006 I've got a couple of songs battling it out in my head at the moment. That's an odd sensation. Usually there is only one and, if I concentrate very deliberately on something, I can usually force it out. But with two songs, they sort of tag-team my subconcious mind so I'm having some difficulty getting both out of my head at the same time. One is "So Long and Thanks For All The Fish" from the soundtrack to "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." The other is Reliant K's cover of "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" which I've downloaded to put on a disk of house music for Dollie's production of "Pirates of Penzance." I've found myself humming strains from both all morning. Max and his buddy Canyon both got bad marks in their agendas yesterday. Max says it was a misunderstanding. He and Canyon were playing a game called "Who Can Point At the Other the Fastest." The teacher (or I believe it was the lunchrooom monitor) who saw this thought they were punching each other and marked them up for "disrepecting people." Either Max is a victim of circumstance, or his excuses are getting more credible. Britney Spears needs to just drop Federline and be done with it. Recently, Britney was eating at a restaurant with a bunch of friends. When it came time for dessert, the waiter told Britney that he couldn't bring the dessert tray over because her husband called ahead and told him not to let anyone at the table have dessert because Britney would eat it. If I tried to pull something like that, I'd be carrying my cell phone in a new location when Dollie got home. That's for sure. Hee hee hee. John Kerry is going to introduce legislation giving President Bush the line-item veto he asked for during the SOTU. In Kerry's version, if Bush excerises the line-item veto, then it goes back to Congress for an up-or-down vote. "I'm going to introduce this legislation," Kerry said in a written statement, "Congress should immediately pass it, and I want to see President Bush use this veto pen to get tough on wasteful spending." Kerry points to $30 billion in spending that is never actually debated in Congress, but was attached to bills that, in their entirety, passed. "Billions of taxpayer dollars are being wasted on things like research to enhance the flavor of roasted peanuts and the infamous 'bridge to nowhere.' We have the largest deficit in American history, and the guys in charge are acting like teenagers with a new credit card." On the surface, this looks like a bad idea because it gives Bush more power. But man, oh, man is this a great idea and Kerry is a genius for proposing it. Here's why: if this bill becomes law, then every bit of porkbarrel spending that becomes law will be layed at the feet of President Bush. Every earmark he lets by, every hometown project he doesn't scratch becomes his responsibility. Plus, once the vetos are sent back to Congress, they'll vote them down, pushing through the spending anyway and giving Bush a little slap on the nose for his efforts. Bush and the Republicans want no part of this line-item veto bill. I'm hoping that the men in South Dakota are preparing themselves to be daddies, because if the law holds up, a single mistake can wind up meaning 18 years of child-support payments. See, the last time abortion was illegal, we didn't have DNA testing to prove paternity. We all know that Bush is against human/animal hybrids. How does he feel about animal/plant hybrids? Some students in Singapore have grafted genetic material from a jellyfish to a plant. Now, the plant glows when it needs water. Yanni got busted on a domestic violence charge. How low do you have to be to buy Girl Scout cookies with a phony $100 bill? Texas Republicans are voting in the congressional primary today. Please oh please oh please let Tom DeLay win his primary fight.
March 6, 2006 I actually wrote an entry for March 3, but didn't get it posted until today. So, it's in the archive, if you're interested. A new company is producing a credit card under the name "Plastic Assets." The site doesn't specify which credit card product they are pushing. You can't tell from either the site, or the application whether you're applying for a Visa, MasterCard, Amex or what. What is clear is that if you apply for the card, you can earn credits toward breast enhancement surgery. Oy. South Dakota's governor has signed the bill banning nearly all abortions. Brace yourselves, people. My car has been out of commission for a few days. There is nothing more depressing than having to call up your friends and bum a ride to work. Fortunately, I've got a few friends I can count on for this sort of thing. My car, Ravsputin, started acting up while Dollie was taking it to get the emissions tested. The car started overheating. The next day, I dropped Max off at school and noticed that the temperature gague was going haywire. It would redline for a few seconds, then fall back down to normal. Then it would redline again. I parked it at home and got a ride into work, figuring it was a bad thermostat.
But Saturday, we were a one-car family and that doesn't fit well with our active urban lifestyle. Saturday morning the whole family loaded into Dollie's car. We dropped Dollie off at her school to work on the set for "Pirates of Penzance." Then I rushed across town to drop Max off for his rehearsal for "The Music Man, Jr." Rozzy and I went to the comic book store for a tournament. Only, I couldn't play because Rozzy wasn't going to just sit around while I did and I had to be back across town to pick up Max at 11:30. So, Rozzy and I hung out with the geeks for a while and chatted with the gamers about next week's tourney. I got a photo of Rozzy standing next to the cutout of General Grievous. Heh. There is no fear in this youngling. Back across town to pick up Max, then we bought lunch for the family and went back to Dollie's school to eat with her. Afterwards, I took the kids home and began working on the house while Max and Rozzy fought like cats and dogs over a variety of inconsequential topics. Saturdays used to be so relaxing. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. The headline on this AP story is "Priests Purify Shrine After Bush Visit." Heh.
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